Partie 3
But originally, he had already gone so far away
Moreover, on what basis does Zhong Shenyin claim that I am slow-witted? I am aware that if one feels unwell, one should go to the hospital. However, if hospitalization is required, wouldn't that mean I would miss several days of school and not be able to see Zeng Ting?
However, it is just that simple
You may consider it, as I do not dislike you
So I truly regarded him as transparent
In summary, pay more attention to rest and take good care of your health. Zeng Ting was completely unconcerned about the childish behavior between me and Zhong Shenyin. The location for the autumn outing has been decided; we will go to the seaside and also camp on the beach. I heard that there is a newly built, very large Ferris wheel near the beach. Don't you love Ferris wheels? We can go and take a ride.
He sat down in the seat next to me and nudged me with his elbow: "Expression, pay attention to your expression, don't let anyone see that you are about to cry."
It is not just the two of us!
It is merely a routine matter
Therefore, I would rather confine that love within my heart, even if it tortures me like a slow slicing from the deepest part of my heart, cutting out flesh and blood in a blurred manner, attempting to escape and breathe
I looked at the small cut on my right index finger, easily made by the edge of an A4 sheet of paper, and pressed down hard with my thumb.
Indeed, one should not criticize others' romantic relationships, and I have no right to do so either. I am not the person involved. Moreover, the parties involved have not expressed any unwillingness.
I am someone without ambition. Whether it is hard work or sacrificing my future, I am willing to do it all
Xiao Che did not choose the science stream, nor did I choose the arts stream
What significance does such stubbornness hold for me, or for Zeng Ting? When he occasionally looks back, is it because he hopes I will stay here, or does he feel that my presence is merely an obstruction, something unnecessary?
I suddenly want to confirm whether the person who went to the amusement park with me is indeed the one in front of me. Did he only hold my hand out of sympathy, forcing himself to do so?
Please, senior, confess to me. It is the first time in my life that I have heard someone say, "I kind of like you."
The most beautiful aspect of love is the mutual understanding that both parties like each other, yet there is no explicit acknowledgment of it. What harm is there in letting Xiao Che enjoy this state for a little longer? This is the essence of romance, do you understand? However, Song Qingxi, you won't be able to experience this in the short term. Don't worry about Xiao Che, just take care of yourself. This guy, Zhong Shenyan, has always loved two things in his life: flirting everywhere and opposing me. If you keep staring at Zeng Ting so openly, I guarantee the whole world will know you have a crush on him. Don't worry about Xiao Che, just take care of yourself. This guy, Zhong Shenyan, has always loved two things in his life: flirting everywhere and opposing me. If you keep staring at Zeng Ting so openly, I guarantee the whole world will know you have a crush on him.
Ten drops of water? Are you joking? Even someone without an illness would be frightened sick by that difficult-to-swallow and unpleasant substance
"What is it? With my youthful and beautiful face, you actually described me as 'about to cry, about to cry.' Do you hate me that much?" Facing Zhong Shenyin, I always find it easy to make sarcastic remarks. After a moment of thought, I turned to Xiao Che, "Why is Lin Xinyun so close to you? Is she still thinking about Zhong Shenyin? Such deep affection directed at Zhong Shenyin is truly a waste."
Using the excuse of "I still want to lie down for a while," both Zhong Shenyan and Zeng Ting left the small school infirmary
Only by losing the long-standing reliance of the heart, along with its persistence and love, and by gaining the hollow emptiness in the heart that carries the bone-chilling coldness of the wind, can one truly grow
I feel as if I am trapped in cotton; although I have been following him with my gaze, no matter how much force I exert to pierce through, I receive no feedback or reaction. Instead, I find myself sinking into a world devoid of response, empty and dazed. Thus, I cannot help but feel increasingly anxious.
I actually understand that Xiao Che is very serious about proving the fact that "this is not a date," as if he is trying hard to convince himself not to develop excessive expectations and illusions about such meetings and interactions
Xiao Che's rebuttal, no matter how one looks at it, seems to be shy, which made Zhong Shenyan and me laugh unabashedly
I burst into laughter: "And then, in the youthful campus, a passionate romance of the blooming season unfolds? Ke Yuchen, you are also so dreamy, huh"
Even though the words were harsh and devoid of warmth, I still looked up slightly at Zhong Shenyuan's expression, which remained gentle and relaxed
During the break, when I saw Liu Ziyu skillfully take out the PSP from Zeng Ting's desk, turn it on, and then look at Zeng Ting with a playful yet reproachful smile, saying, "You have overwritten my save file again," I knew I had completely lost.
Those hearts that were given to the wrong person, those feelings that misjudged the direction, can only be wasted like this, is it your fault if it hurts you to death
Zhong Shenyan followed my gaze and looked at Zeng Ting and Liu Ziyu, who were leaning closely together studying the game, then glanced back at me
Why do situations like "misguided love" exist
"Who has loved?" Zhong Shenyan said irritably, clearly not intending to easily reconcile with me. "Strictly speaking, I have never been in love. Do not slander me. The person I love the most has yet to find me"
Time has swiftly passed by, and two weeks have gone by in a flash
Even if you are peeking at someone, could you please at least do it in a way that aligns with the concept of 'peeking'?" Zhong Shenyan walked out of the classroom alongside me, "Your gaze is too overt; do you want the whole world to know that you are entangling with Zeng Ting through your eyes?"
Just as I feel towards Zhong Shenyin, so do I feel towards Ke Yuchen
Because I know that Liu Ziyu likes Zeng Ting
Just like with Zhong Shenyin, although we have never been overly familiar with each other and often engage in playful banter to poke fun at one another, the connection we share is profound. Compared to his flirty interactions with others, a mere glance between us is enough to convey our current feelings and emotions.
Just to say, this guy Zhong Shenyan never understands tenderness and consideration. Even when I have a terrible headache, he still yells at me at the top of his lungs, which hurts my eardrums painfully
Therefore, I can only face it with a calm demeanor: "If you don't accompany me to ride the Ferris wheel this time after hearing that there is no Zhong Shenyin, I will definitely set your house on fire and throw sulfuric acid to ruin your appearance."
I. Zeng Ting
Indeed, one must lose something in order to grow, and one must gain something in order to grow
The results of the class division are as follows: I, along with Zeng Ting and Zhong Shenyan, are in Class 1 for Science; Lu Wen is in Class 2 for Science; and Xiao Che is alone in the Humanities class
Liking someone does not necessarily mean that you have to let them know
So I answered calmly: "I don't have a boyfriend, but I do have someone I have a crush on, Ke Yuchen."
"Be more careful next time." Ke Yuchen smiled good-naturedly, rummaging through a small box on the table to pull out a row of adhesive bandages. He tore one off, opened it, and said, "Extend your hand."
"What happened?" Holding a pile of materials and walking into the activity room, Ke Yuchen seemed to notice that I was in a daze and asked aloud
I accidentally cut my hand. I showed him the small wound and said, "You must not call me silly!"
"Whoever is staring at him, you must have a crush on him." Not giving him a few eye rolls would truly be a disservice to my conscience. Are friends merely there to constantly remind us of our shortcomings?
People tend to be more cruel and domineering towards those who love and care for them, because they know that, regardless of the circumstances, they will always be forgiven and tolerated
Can one fall in love as long as there is no dislike
Yesterday afternoon
It was only after witnessing the interaction between Liu Ziyu and Zeng Ting that I realized where the true obstacle lies—such achievements are always alongside Zeng Ting in the top ranks. A girl who treats everyone with kindness and does not come across as pretentious should indeed be the heroine of an idol romance drama
Well
In the loneliness that tightly grips the heart with no way to escape, there emerged a small outlet, akin to the moment one feels the bright morning sunlight leap onto the eyelids upon waking.
The sunlight casually diluted his expression, and he turned his gaze away
He never had any spark with me. And I, I know that he is only concerned about me because he has the identity of the "class monitor" and has to represent the classmates to check on me, who embarrassingly fainted in the classroom.
Thus, our class leader, who is accustomed to handling numerous challenging situations, quickly ceased to exhibit the surprise and confusion that, apart from myself, probably no one else could perceive.
Although there is still some loneliness and bitterness, after realizing that it was merely a one-sided demand, and acknowledging the fact that it had caused trouble for Zeng Ting, my heart has indeed found the exit it desires after a long period of obscurity and darkness
That is true. I lowered my head in embarrassment
However, those emotions and thoughts that can only be kept in the darkest corners of the heart, sealed within the silence, are never well expressed, nor can they be articulated in the brightly lit classroom
Zhong Shenyan, do you really want me to tear your tongue out?
Fortunately, Ke Yuchen is truly a very gentlemanly and magnanimous young man. He set aside the potential feelings of frustration that might arise from his failures and genuinely supported me, saying: "Having a crush is quite tormenting; it's better to confess your feelings."
He and I are like two unrelated individuals in the same space; he probably feels that nothing has changed imperceptibly, but for me, everything has become significantly different
Look, look at how naturally he can mention the little sweetness and little memories that I have always placed in the most important position, shining brightly
I am very clumsy, I admit, but this is the only way I can clumsily like someone, and this is the only way I can clumsily love him
It turns out that liking someone is not as complicated as one might imagine
This is definitely not my overthinking; every girl possesses an exceptionally keen and accurate sixth sense regarding the existence of a "rival in love".
Something very soft can also cut sharp blood marks
If it were not for meeting Zeng Ting and developing feelings for him, I might have never known that I possess such a patient, indecisive, somewhat pitiable yet somewhat detestable side, willingly completely blinding my own heart and unwilling to confront the reality.
Ke Yuchen smiled, then reached out to ruffle my hair: "I am confessing to you. While being rejected by you, I still want to clench my fists and shine my eyes like stars to say to you, 'Song Qingxi, be brave and have a secret crush, I will always support you, go for it.' Do you really think this is a romantic drama?"
Because merely writing the character "曾" unconsciously on paper can make my heart feel tenderness and a fluttering sensation
What are you laughing at? Qingxi, your emotions are fluctuating greatly
For example, I finally realized that I am more cruel and more evasive than I thought I was. I stopped in my tracks, looked at Zhong Shenyin, and said softly and slowly, "So you don't need to worry about me, really"
Zhong Shenyan forcefully patted my shoulder, pulling me out of my deep self-pitying thoughts: "Song Qingxi, you've been daydreaming way too much lately, and whenever you do, you always have this expression as if you're about to cry. What's going on with you? Just lay it all out and let's talk, there are other boys besides Zeng Ting."
I stubbornly remain here
Sometimes, the existence of acting is truly necessary, although I am not particularly skilled at it
It can be retrieved
Because I clearly know that he does not like me, that is not my world, and no matter how hard I try, I cannot change his feelings. I pressed down hard on the wound through the band-aid with my thumb, feeling that non-lethal sting. "Hey, Ke Yuchen, when you experience heartbreak, does it hurt? When it hurts, what should you do?"
Song Qingxi, have you lost your mind? You felt unwell yesterday afternoon and you still haven't gone to the hospital? How can you be so oblivious? Do you know that heatstroke can be fatal?
Hello, Yao Xiaoche, could you please have a bit of crisis awareness? You know Jiang Mei...
Of course, there are no sparks
Amidst the chaotic thoughts, the sound of a door being knocked echoed in the space
In fact, I also understand why he is like this—transitioning from middle school to high school, my strengths lie more in the humanities compared to the sciences. I am quite proficient in both Chinese and English, whereas my abilities in mathematics and chemistry are significantly weaker. Therefore, everyone in the world assumes that I would choose the humanities.
For example, paper
Just like I do to myself
However, if one continues to handle such a soft thing with utmost caution, it would indeed be rather ridiculous
Alright, I understand. I said, "Zhong Shenyin, during the summer vacation, I watched a Japanese movie, 'Honey and Clover.'"
Why does liking someone make one feel so humble
"Hey, Song Qingxi, what's wrong with you?" Zhong Shenyin pulled me up from my prone position, supporting me by holding my shoulders, and carefully observed my appearance: "Your complexion is too pale. What exactly is wrong with you? Are you feeling unwell?"
"It suggests that I am the male lead of a romantic drama, and you are the female lead," Ke Yuchen said
I repeatedly tell myself, Song Qingxi, do not be too infatuated, stay calm, learn to graduate from this unrequited love, control your heartbeat and breath when your gazes meet, get used to the heartache, and then become numb. Yet, I always feel that something has taken root in my heart, cutting and causing pain.
He raised his right hand, wiggled his little finger, and said, "I will be with you."
Ke Yuchen habitually tousles my hair, very gently
The school doctor said you have a mild heatstroke, and if you wake up, you should take medicine immediately
It is indeed not the case. The week before last, I went to the bookstore to buy reference books with Xia Xiaowen, Lin Xinyun, and Yang Jing from their class. The week before that, I played badminton with Jiang Mei and Yang Jing. Last week, I went to the library, and it was not just him and me; Lin Xinyun also went.
This line of dialogue reminds me of Zeng Ting again
What does it suggest to you? I moved my fingers and applied a band-aid, which indeed felt very out of place, clearly indicating an discomfort with the "extra unfamiliar thing".
In physics, a triangle is the most stable structure; however, when it transforms into a triangle in love, it becomes the most fragile and dangerous combination. I said this with a deep sense of empathy, "Human emotions are far more complex than science. They are unpredictable, mysterious, and unreasonable. Hurry up and take your rightful place as the main girlfriend, then arrogantly say, 'Jiang Mei, stay away from me!' Please!"
"A small cut is nothing to worry about." I extended my hand, watching as he gently helped me apply the adhesive bandage.
Raising one's head to look at the window glass, under the control of the sunlight's angle, it reflects the scene inside the room, just like a mirror
When the boy slightly lowers his head and the girl slightly raises her toes, they can kiss; how beautiful it is
After confirming that I had properly swallowed all those pills, he withdrew his hand and brought the cup close to my mouth
Why does liking someone make one feel so humble
She is currently in the same class as Lu Wen, so isn't it quite normal for them to socialize after class? Xiao Che said casually
I do not want to argue with him today, nor do I have the energy to do so; in fact, I have a headache that is making me feel faint.
While I was deep in thought, my shoulder received a forceful slap from behind that was somewhat excessive.
I opened my eyes and found myself in the school's infirmary
But why is it that my close friend and confidant, Zhong Shenyuan, who is usually positioned as such, has also disappeared? I don't know if it's customary for patients to say something like "Water..." when they wake up, and then those who are waiting have to rush to offer it.
That's all there is to it
If I were as rational as her, able to control myself, would I be a bit happier? Instead of existing in the world around Zeng Ting like a pitiful shadow as I do now? Would I also be able to say with arrogance, "Zeng Ting, what are you so proud of? It's just that you don't want to date me, and I don't care about dating you either."
Moreover, I do not want Zeng Ting to know, lest he think that I am feigning illness to elicit sympathy
But why do I not feel a flutter in my heart even when I only catch a glimpse of Zeng Ting's back?
In the moment of our gaze meeting, I smiled nonchalantly.
Very. Extremely. Quite.
Is it that obvious
Thus, I am willing to choose to be in the same class as Zeng Ting, willing to choose the "same classmate," such a meager intersection
In this day and age, friends are truly unreliable, arriving later than anyone else, yet daring to be more fierce than anyone.
I closed my eyes
Such tenderness makes me feel somewhat guilty
Concealment always has its reasons; it is a means to hide the gaping wounds within the heart. Because those moments that have already been fixed in the past cannot be altered. The sharp edges of memory gleam clearly and sharply in the heart
So I was really taken aback: "Eh?"
because I saw the possibility of graduating from "blind affection for Zeng Ting"
Can you persevere
At this moment, based on my years of experience in dealing with him, encountering such a situation, when he is transparent, is the best strategy
Thus, one can rest assured to let the tears slide down the corners of the eyes, absorbed by the pillow
It hurts, yet it is not painful enough
Really? I will truly bother you at any time, as I am actually quite emotional
What are you doing? I slightly tilted my head and looked at him
He is Jiang Zhishu, and you are not Yuan Xiangqin; he is Dao Ming Si, and you will not be Shan Cai. Song Qingxi, even as an idiot, you should have some limits
Who knows. In any case, I cannot leave, so I can only stay here forever. I shrugged nonchalantly.
Well, I am a fair person. In exchange, whenever you are unhappy or want to talk to someone, you can also bother me. I also raised my left hand, wiggling my pinky finger, saying, "I consider this a pact between us."
Sitting beside Zeng Ting, Liu Ziyu, who smiles unabashedly yet still exudes elegance, presents such a stark contrast to me, who sits here in a daze
Zhong Shenyan is still making a fuss to attract attention, and I really do not want to pay him any mind
I averted my gaze, intentionally or not, and it landed on Zeng Ting, who was standing about three meters away from us, next to the podium, discussing what seemed to be a serious matter with the vice class leader, Tang Shaohao
Secret love
Song Qingxi, you can be a bit more sarcastic, please
I was shocked and suddenly looked up, definitely staring at him with a frightened expression—was he planning to make me take medicine?!
Even if my existence is actually absent in his world, even if he holds onto an absurd expectation that can never be realized, even if there is no communication, and we are merely engaged in our own activities, I still feel a small sense of comfort in my heart, filled with reassurance, no longer lonely and hollow to the point of irritation yet helpless.
Zeng Ting's natural and casual demeanor towards Liu Ziyu is clearly different from the distant, polite, and reserved attitude he shows towards me
The book states that the most perfect height difference between boys and girls is 16 centimeters
So, truly, this is not my world, I should not have come in at all
It seems that in the current situation, they truly resemble what Zhong Shenyan described: the most beautiful aspect of love is when both parties are aware of each other's affection without having explicitly stated it. Compared to the designation of "good friends," they appear to be more engaged in enjoying this ambiguous state.
Having lost the innocent stance of classmates, I find myself suspended at the boundary between love and departure, where everything is vague and uncertain
The sky outside is still very blue, without a hint of shadow, much like the feelings I had before meeting Zeng Ting, which is also the emotion I wish to reclaim
I feel that what I blurted out probably hit the sore spot for Zhong Shenyan, as I saw a kind of anger in his eyes that I rarely witness: "Someone like you, hanging on a tree that doesn't even care about you, is enjoying the pleasures of love?"
"What is wrong with you?" Zhong Shenyan nudged my shoulder, "Haven't you already experienced a breakup? Why are you only now starting to feel heartbroken? Isn't it a bit late for that?"
It is truly unbearable, do not shake me, my head is killing me, I feel like vomiting
Zhong Shenyan, I have also grown. I looked at the long shadows of Zhong Shenyan and myself, stretched by the setting sun, and said softly, "So I realized that I actually do not know myself very well."
Are you implying something? Ke Yuchen put the row of band-aids back into the box, then turned around, sat down across from me, and looked at me with a slight smile
Just like Liu Ziyu and Zeng Ting
That is the tacit understanding and closeness derived from long-term companionship and candid interactions, which have become a natural habit
In comparison, being ill is truly not a big deal; it is waiting and anticipation that inflict the sharpest wounds
I looked out at the sky, which was a clear blue. My head no longer hurt, and the feeling of nausea had also disappeared. It seems that the school infirmary has some level of competence after all
Thinking that perhaps one day we might overlap, I could love you a second time
I lay down in annoyance, confidently resuming the role of a "patient," ignoring him.
Perhaps I am suffering from heatstroke. I truly cannot muster any strength, and he is forcefully holding my hand. "Let me lie down for a moment, don't jostle me, otherwise I will really be sick."
I held his hand, drank water, and swallowed the pill
I now have experience in pursuing boys, Yao Xiao Che, do not give up, believe firmly like I do that it does not matter how high and mighty or charming a boy is, if you pursue him long enough, he will be yours!" I patted Xiao Che's shoulder vigorously and generously gave her a hug filled with encouragement, "Yao Xiao Che, you can do it! Fighting!"
Oh
Winning your head, love is not a game. I can't be bothered with him, I continue to look at Xiao Che: "Then why is Jiang Mei here?"
This is the self that I hide. A stubborn and willful self, fixated on my affection for him, yet unable to focus on his feelings for me. So even as I watch him gradually walk further away, I lack the courage to truly stop him.
If it were not for Zeng Ting, I would not have discovered that there is a persistence within my character that, once activated, will not change again
Zhong Shenyan did not hide his extraordinary disappointment towards me because of this, expressing his frustration and helplessness, and this was not just once.
Of course. He smiled very gently, giving me a reassuring feeling like that of an older brother. However, you don't need to go all out, following someone with your eyes wide open without daring to blink. If it is truly the one destined for you, he will find you.
Although there is a Cinderella in the story of the prince and princess, is it not precisely because Cinderella's success is exceptionally rare that it is used as an example
Why
Why do things like "misplaced love" exist? Those hearts that are given to the wrong person, those feelings that have misjudged their direction, can only be wasted like this; is it your fault if it causes you pain?
It is really quite sour, probably because the sunlight projected onto the window glass is too glaring
Even the schedule for duty assignments, he probably used the authority of the "class monitor" to deliberately avoid any overlapping opportunities with me
My eyes are really sore
Oh my, this scene is just too much like a drama, I couldn't help but burst into laughter
"Well, it's not just that I don't dislike it; I actually like it a bit." There was no hint of jest in Ke Yuchen's tone
I am certain that he has lost his mind again—although just yesterday, with great sincerity and earnestness, he told me, "Song Qingxi, whether as classmates or friends, I will always stand by you through thick and thin, using our friendship to alleviate the pain that love brings you." I was indeed moved by his words.
Slowly walking across the playground towards the school gate, I said to Zhong Shenyin: "There is a boy in 'Honey and Clover' named Takeuchi Yuta. He said that one must lose something in order to grow. One must gain something in order to grow."
Hasn't it always been done this way
"She has changed her career path, okay?" Zhong Shenyan said with a smug expression as if he had done a good deed. "Haven't you heard that she has been getting along very well with Yang Jing recently? Therefore, knowing when to let go at the right moment is the key to winning"
As long as he is happy
The uncontrollable emotions are also the bacteria in my heart, resilient in their vitality; no matter how much I disinfect or defend against them, I cannot prevent their breeding and flourishing
Allow me to retain my last shred of privilege, forgive me for the heartbreak of missing you
Zhong Shenyan is truly lacking in originality
I glanced with my peripheral vision at Zeng Ting and Liu Ziyu, who were very close together and seemed to be whispering something, and rubbed my eyes
No wonder you often suddenly become lost in thought, your emotions plummeting to the lowest point
I understand, but just because I like Lu Wen, it doesn't mean others are not allowed to like him, right? If I were his official girlfriend, I would have the justification to say, 'You are not allowed to get too close to her.' The problem is, I am not.
"Who else is closest to this gap number but you? I want to feel what this distance is like." Zhong Shenyan's face twisted as he raised his left hand to rub the spot on his right hand that I had attacked. "Or do you want to try a perfect height difference kiss? Our height difference is almost optimal; if you want to experiment, I am more than willing to accompany you at any moment."
It turns out that he and I are not even on the same planet, and it is even possible that we are not in the same universe.
"Song Qingxi, please help me." He reached out and grabbed my wrist, forcibly pulling me up from my seat, making me stand face to face with him
Just look at how passionate, melodramatic, and persistent my confession to Zeng Ting is
I can get even a little closer to him, regardless of the cost.
After the division into subjects, I became familiar with my classmates and entered into the routine of daily study life. I am even more certain that choosing the science class was the right decision
You must endure this on your own; others truly cannot help you. However, when you feel lonely, when you are sad, or when you want to talk to someone, you can reach out to me or call me
I have really offended Zhong Shenyin, as there is a rare feeling of anger in his tone that seldom appears when he is facing me and Xiao Che
Don't you think it felt like we were acting in a romantic drama just now, full of passionate youth, inspiration, and romance
It has been said that idol dramas are all deceptive
I immediately cast aside the embarrassment of indulging in my own enjoyment, quickly sitting up to demonstrate my vitality: "Alright, alright, I am completely fine now. My back no longer aches, my legs no longer hurt, I can run up six flights of stairs without getting out of breath, I am completely well."
I lay on the desk and closed my eyes
Zeng Ting poured out a cup of water, then picked up the medicine that had probably been prepared on the bedside cabinet for a long time, sat down at the edge of the bed to support me, and brought the pills that had fallen into his palm to my lips
Some matters do not need to be known by the whole world
Oh my, that overly innocent look is really not suitable for him. I slapped my hand directly on Zhong Shenyuan's right arm, making a rather loud sound: "Zhong Shenyuan, can you count? You are 174 cm tall! The height difference between us is only 12 cm, okay!"
Without me, his happiness is unaffected
At such times, should we not think too much and instead rely on our intuition and the direction we have found within ourselves?
He is full of natural, clear smiles, looking at me with an open attitude. As he reaches out his hand, if I continue to be shy, it truly seems overly deliberate. It is better to obediently take the medicine.
Staring at the thumb nail that has turned white from pressing too hard, I think, the wound in my heart is probably like this, which is why I cannot achieve complete liberation, continuously allowing myself to remain in this state
The understanding is truly genuine; Zhong Shenyan completely realizes that I am in need of help
Zeng Ting, who was not sitting in the chair by the bedside, tightly holding my hand, had fallen asleep due to exhaustion and fatigue
Xiao Che and Lu Wen, who are still separated into two spaces by the division of liberal arts and sciences, appear to be making even smoother progress, as it is said that they have been meeting up together for several consecutive weekends.
I have discovered a cruel part within my heart. It is a brutality and coldness that is directed solely towards myself
Alright, alright, you love your her and she loves her, let's call it even said Xiao Che, trying to mediate the situation
He still serves as the class monitor, while I am merely an ordinary student, not very familiar with most of my classmates who have chosen the science class
The truth that I had no opportunity to know before unfolds completely at such a distance, delivering a fatal impact to me
When he fixed his gaze on my face with curiosity and surprise, I pretended not to notice his stare and focused intently on my conversation with Zhong Shenyin
I simply wish that he and I become true classmates. This way, in the endless journey of life ahead, he and I will always share an unchangeable bond. Even if it is just once every five or ten years at a class reunion, I would not regret this choice.
"Song Qingxi, are you a comedian?" Zhong Shenyin's voice, devoid of warmth, came from behind Zeng Ting.
The science class finishes later than the liberal arts class, so Xiao Che leaves first. As a result, it is always just me and Zhong Shenyan walking together to the school gate, before parting ways to head home.
In fact, the content of the conversation is --
Although I feel very reluctant, being in such a situation, I suddenly deeply understand his feelings of rejection towards me. From his perspective, my request is truly just a farce, a joke perhaps
Have you fallen into unrequited love? Unrequited love is even more painful and tormenting than secret love. Can you endure it?
You have never met him, have you? Where did you see that he is 'not bad'? Looking at Zhong Shenyuan with a casual demeanor, I wore an expression that clearly said, 'Zhong Shenyuan, have you lost your intelligence?' 'Zhong Shenyuan, you are being utterly irresponsible regarding my lifelong happiness. To be honest, what kind of joy in love can someone like you, who constantly changes partners, truly experience? Is this really love?'
Of course, it is a good show, two women and one man, the situation is very complex, and it cannot be missed
Perhaps they did not expect that I had already woken up, so the knocking sound only rang three times before the door was pushed open
As Zeng Ting walked in, our gazes collided directly as I looked towards the door
Zhong Shenyan was clearly not persuaded by my reasoning; he almost roared, "Don't you want to be in the same class as Zeng Ting? Can't you show a little ambition?"
I have always thought that Zeng Ting and I simply had different directions, which is why we passed each other by. However, the Earth is round, and there are not too many people on it; the latest statistics reportedly indicate a population of 6.8 billion. Therefore, I still harbor a faint hope in my heart, believing that there is still a one in 6.8 billion chance that I could be his choice, thinking that after traversing a long road, we might meet again.
Even if it is difficult to part with, even if it is hard, even if it is cruel, it is still a sacrifice that must be made
The door is closed, and the world becomes quiet once again. So quiet that only breathing remains
"Do not tell me you have a boyfriend. I have known you for several months, and you do not seem to be in love at all." Ke Yuchen analyzed rationally, observing that there was no atmosphere or emotion suggesting a confession.
Raise your right hand, place it flat between your eyebrows, and then push it outward decisively to perform a standard salute. He said: "Grandma, I guarantee the completion of the task"
Then before she finds you, cherish yourself and take good care of yourself. What is this sentimentality? It won't do without pricking him a little.
To him, perhaps I am just a bacterium myself
However, in fact, idol dramas are also quite innocent—he does not appear simply because I am not his leading lady
Could it be that, for Zeng Ting, I exist merely as a band-aid with such feelings? Or perhaps, I am just creating a sense of discomfort, yet I am not even qualified to be a band-aid—I am unable to suppress the bacteria or heal his wounds
Oh? Hey, Ke Yuchen, you haven't given me any support, have you? I looked at him with a sense of grievance
I did not wrong him at all
He is sitting in the middle of the back row of the classroom, while I am sitting in the back row at the very end of the classroom
Moreover, she had no intention of concealing it, and furthermore, Zeng Ting did not express any refusal either
I am merely a certain extinct fern in the world, quietly suffering from insomnia for a light year
For example
Leaning closer to his palm, I cautiously ran the tip of my tongue across his palm, rolling over the pill. My face was flushed with heat, but fortunately, I had suffered from heatstroke, which made it easy to disguise.
Zeng Ting's nerve endings keenly sensed my gaze, which was filled with fluctuating emotions and contemplation as I scrutinized him, prompting him to cast a questioning look in my direction
Upon seeing me, who appeared in the same space as a "classmate," Sheng Ting clearly exhibited a moment of surprise, and this surprise was not trivial.
The song sings, "Freely express your own colors, youth should not be left blank." You should consider Zeng Ting as a transit station; it is time to rediscover better talents. That Ke something Chen seems quite good to me.
Alternatively, through close observation and the natural interactions of each day, I will discover aspects of him that I was previously unaware of, which contribute to my feelings of "dislike" towards him, and thus graduate from this dark, closed-off, and endlessly repetitive emotional cycle
When I woke up, the first sense to return was my sense of smell
I have always told myself that it does not matter how hard or lonely it is, the accumulated sadness will one day transform into love
Even if one tries hard to appear calm and composed, it is inevitably found that maintaining a clear boundary while interacting with Zeng Ting is always somewhat challenging
However, it is indeed the case.
In most stories, it is still the case that the prince and princess share a deep connection, are well-matched in social status, and live a life filled with mutual affection, is it not
Zhong Shenyan looked at me for a long time, and then we both gently sighed at the same moment
However, acting is essential for disguising oneself as "Song Qingxi," who is completely indifferent to Zeng Ting.
The smell of disinfectant
It turns out that his one in 6.8 billion had already appeared
I confessed my feelings, but I was rejected. I feel gloomy
You should pay attention to your expression, Young Master Zhong, your intention to watch the show is too obvious
I turned slightly to look at the perpetrator, and cold arrows shot from my eyes: "Zhong Shenyan, how much do you hate me?"
I convinced my parents, and also myself, with the reasoning that "it would be a bit easier to get into university with a science major, and it would also be somewhat easier to find a job later on." With a firm resolve, I chose the science track.
Zhong Shenyan released his hand and looked at me nervously: "When did you start feeling unwell?"
Even if we can no longer hold hands, or if we can never embrace again, I did not choose to be in the same class as him in order to rekindle our past relationship
True intimacy is actually unrelated to physical contact; what matters is the gaze, the understanding, the communication, and the unspoken words that convey more than words themselves.
I have decided to retreat; I must graduate from my feelings for him. Therefore, even though his smile still captivates me, I warn myself not to let my guard down
Are you feeling any better now? The school doctor said that if you still feel unwell half an hour after taking the medicine, you should drink a little bit of ten drops of water. The class monitor maintained a clear smile while placing the cup on the cabinet
Well, unrequited love. Although it is unrequited love, it is the kind of unrequited love that is very, very, very deep.